The Perils of Democracy

This isn’t a commentary on the state of the Greek government but it does have worrying implications for any future SNP referendum. The great Scottish public have been presented with their options for the 00s on STV’s “Scotland’s Greatest Album” and, putting them together with the 70s, 80s and 90s entries, have voted for their favourite tracks.

Firstly, the 00s contenders:

00s/1 Snow patrol – run

Three-time winners of the Best Irish Band award…

00s/2 KT Tunstall – suddenly I see

00s/3 Fratellis – Chelsea dagger

00s/4 Paolo Nutini – candy

00s/5 Delgados – all you need is hate

Might have been better with “pull the wires from the wall” or “Mr. Blue Sky”.

00s/6 Franz Ferdinand – take me out

Good choice.

00s/7 Glasvegas – daddy’s gone

Never really understood the attraction of these guys

00s/8 Biffy Clyro – mountains

00s/9 Camera Obscura – Lloyd, I’m ready to be heartbroken

STV, get over your Lloyd Cole obsession and try “French Navy” instead!

00s/10 Eddie Reader – ae fond kiss

Just because you couldn’t squeeze Fairground Attraction into the 80s, doesn’t mean we should have this.

00s/11 The view – same jeans

00s/12 Calvin Harris – acceptable in the 80s

00s/13 Amy Macdonald – this is the life

00s/14 Mull historical society – watching Xanadu

00s/15 Primal scream – country girl

Excellent – a real return to form.

So no Sons & Daughters, Mylo, Ballboy or God Help the Girl but at least they managed to squeeze Amy Macdonald in there, eh? What great leftfield thinkers.

There’s been a fair amount of debate about the choices online, with many calls for the likes of the Silencers, Del Amitri and King Creosote to be included. The esteemed political writer Kevin Williamson was even advocating for Joe Strummer to be included, on account of his Scottish mum! By that reckoning I was surprised they didn’t managed to somehow include the Beatles, on account of Stuart Sutcliffe being born in Edinburgh.

And now to the winners:

Gerry Rafferty – Baker Street (70s, most popular)
Rod Stewart – Maggie May (70s, second)
Stealers Wheel – Stuck in the Middle of You (70s, third)

Gerry Rafferty 2, some English bloke 1

Deacon Blue – Dignity (80s, most popular)
The Proclaimers – Sunshine on Leith (80s, second)
Eurythmics – Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) (80s, third)

The Associates and the Jesus & Mary Chain are nowhere to be seen but, thankfully, neither were the Blue Nile.

The Proclaimers – (I’m Gonna Be) 500 Miles (90s, most popular)
The Waterboys – The Whole of the Moon (90s, second)
Frankie Miller – Caledonia (90s, third)

The music of the 90s was apparently so dire that the great unwashed had to choose 2 reissues and a rewrite. Either that or the 80s were so good that there was an overspill into the 90s.

As chance would have it, we went to see a friend’s choir in Perth last week and it turned out he was supporting none other than Dougie Maclean, writer of the aforementioned Caledonia. Then the next day we were enjoying a spot of lunch in Dunkeld when the musicians at the bar struck up … yep, you guessed it, Caledonia. Having never heard the song before it would appear that there’s now no escaping it. Clearly being in London in the early 90s was the safest place to be.

Snow Patrol – Run (00s, most popular)
Paolo Nutini – Candy (00s, second)
Franz Ferdinand – Take Me Out (00s, third)

So, on the basis of the above voting patterns we can safely predict that the Scottish public will vote to become a province of England with Dougie Maclean as their mayor and the Proclaimers as deputies.

This Nation’s Singing Disgrace

Scottish Television, in the infinite wisdom, have roped in the lovely Clare Grogan to present “Scotland’s Greatest Album”. There are 4 episodes covering the 70s, 80s, 90s and 00s. A panel of “experts” have chosen 15 songs for each decade and the great Scottish public can then vote for its favourite 3, which then go on to make up the final album. Fair enough concept but, as you might imagine, it has generated quite some debate and forehead slapping.

Here’s the rundown so far (00s to come next week).

The 70s

70s/1 Bay city rollers – shang-a-lang

I suppose they had to be in there somewhere.

70s/2 Frankie Miller – darlin’

What?

70s/3 Nazareth – this flight tonight

The decade’s representative from Beardland

70s/4 Average white band – pick up the pieces

70s/5 AC/DC – whole lotta rosie

First of many spurious entries claiming some sort of Scottishness.

70s/6 Rod Stewart – Maggie May

Here’s another.

70s/7 Sensational Alex Harvey Band – next

70s/8 Gerry Rafferty – Baker St

70s/9 Stealers wheel – stuck in the middle

Two in a row for Mr Rafferty.

70s/10 Gallagher and Lyle – heart on my sleeve

70s/11 John Martyn – solid air

70s/12 Rezillos – top of the pops

Pantomime punk. Surely there were better examples than this….?

70s/13 Skids – into the valley

… this one for example

70s/14 Marmalade – rainbow

Surely this was from the 60s (and should have stayed there?)

70s/15 Middle of the road – chirpy chirpy cheep cheep

10 whole years of music and this is the best you can come up with?? What an embarrassment!

The 80s

80s/1 Associates – party fears two

Right band, right choice

80s/2 Simple minds – waterfront

Right band, wrong choice – what about “I travel” or “promised you a miracle”?

80s/3 Orange juice – rip it up

Another right band, wrong song. As usual they went for the obvious choice but surely “falling and laughing” would have been a better entry.

80s/4 Aztec camera – oblivious

Not overly convinced by this. There are better AC songs but, even so, I’m not sure they shouldn’t have made way for other bands.

80s/5 Proclaimers – sunshine on Leith

Had to be in there.

80s/6 Jesus and Mary Chain – just like honey

Good one. The obvious choice but a good one all the same.

80s/7 Big country – fields of fire

Again, they had to be in. Would perhaps have preferred “harvest home” but you can’t have everything.

80s/8 Eurythmics – sweet dreams

50% Scottish.

80s/9 Hue and cry – labour of love

Never really liked this one at the time but it’s really grown on me since.

80s/10 Bluebells – young at heart

Now irritating through overplay. Again, make way for someone more interesting.

80s/11 Lloyd Cole – are you ready to be heartbroken

Weegieland via Derby. Even ignoring this, is this really their best track??

80s/12 Danny Wilson – Mary’s prayer

This one was also irritating at the time – all that smooth Hipsway, Love & Money, Win nonsense. Give me a hand-coloured sleeve with free flexidisc any day!

80s/13 Deacon Blue – dignity

This one’s in the same category as “labour of love”.

80s/14 Bronski beat – small town boy

Quite glad to see this one, especially as it bumped the Wets off the list.

80s/15 Blue Nile – tinseltown in the rain

One hit wonders. Surely the shop assistants, close lobsters, exploited and the soup dragons have just as much of a claim?

The 90s

90s/1 Edwyn Collins – a girl like you

2^nd entry from Mr Collins. I suppose it had to be in there.

90s/2 Belle and Sebastian – the boy with the Arab strap

Well done.

90s/3 Cocteau Twins – heaven or Las Vegas

What??? If they are going to be in any decade then surely it should be the 80s? And this song is way off their best work.

90s/4 Proclaimers – 500 miles

Second entry for this decade that’s actually in the wrong decade. We’ve already got sunshine on Leith for the 80s, are we really so short of other bands in the 90s that we have to include a reissue?

90s/5 Frankie Miller – Caledonia

This one completely passed me by. Apparently it was number one in Scotland for 583 weeks on the back of a Tennents ad.

90s/6 Shamen – move any mountain

Good choice – they eschewed Ebeneezer Goode in favour of this one.

90s/7 Garbage – stupid girl

American nonsense with token Scottish singer. If you really wanted Shirley Manson, kick out the Blue Nile and stick Goodbye Mr McKenzie in the 80s.

90s/8 Slam – positive education

Never even heard this before!

90s/9 Primal Scream – movin’ on up

Probably the obvious choice, although there were better tracks from the 80s (velocity girl) and later 90s (Kowalski).

90s/10 Teenage fanclub – everything flows

Bit tricky to choose a track here as they’re really more of an album band. Was struck by how much Norman Blake looks like someone out of Coronation Street these days.

90s/11 Waterboys – whole of the moon

Another reissue from the 80s. Were we really so short of 90s bands that we had to include this?

90s/12 KLF – 3am eternal

Another 50% Scottish entry.

90s/13 Travis – driftwood

Drivel.

90s/14 Texas – black eyed boy

Another group that had to be in there somewhere.

90s/15 Capercaillie – coisich a ruin

What?? Just because Alex Salmond likes it, doesn’t mean it has to go in. Runrig got the bump in the 80s but haven’t they got 4 albums in the 90s to choose from?