Stalin was a genius
January 29, 2012 Leave a comment
Next up, North Korea from May 1997….
Ever keen to provoke the “why on earth do you want to go there?” response (Alaska in winter, anyone?), the idea of a visit to the perennially popular Club Med destination that is North Korea was hit upon. What follows is an attempt to supply the incredulous questioner with some incredulous answers.
After visiting Seoul earlier in the year, and having difficulty at times working out whether I’d actually left Tokyo, a compare and contrast visit to the north was even more in order.
The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) is not the easiest of places to get to, despite being one of Japan’s closest neighbours. In fact, many Japanese people were of the impression that it was impossible to go. This of course only strengthened my resolve. Written material is almost non-existent but after some serious surfing, I managed to collect enough information to book a tour with VNC Travel in Holland. An early net find was Paul and Rick Bakker‘s highly entertaining travelogue.
However, this being Japan nothing is quite that simple. On hearing of our intended trip, my office displayed the ugly chip on its shoulder regarding all things Korean and banned us outright from going, on the following grounds:
- Japan has no diplomatic relations with the DPRK;
- It is dangerous; and
- Japanese civil servants voluntarily undertake not to go to the DPRK.
The fact that we were neither Japanese nationals nor civil servants was irrelevant. The decision had been made and they weren’t about to change a decision and lose face. In fact, the prospect of our just going anyway was greeted with implicit threats of dismissal. After consulting with the Ministry of Education, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the British and Canadian embassies, the Foreign Office in London and sundry other officials, they were told in no uncertain terms that they couldn’t stop us. Again, the decision had been made and so the only option left for them was the traditional Japanese head in the sand response.
Pyongyang international airport is only connected to Beijing, Berlin, Moscow, Macau and Bangkok, so it was back to Beijing for the second time in a month. A day was spent picking up our Korean visas and flight tickets, together with the odd bit of sightseeing. A visit to Beihei park was noteworthy for a couple of English signs:
- “Individuals should not hold any dancing party inside the park without permission. Decadent songs and behaviours that go against decency are forbidden here”.
and the poetic:
- “The lake water was retarded by silt and the garden’s face became rusty”.
The next day we headed back to the airport for our luxury Air Koryo flight to Pyongyang. An indication of things to come was the way the check-in desk was separated from all the others and their use of pen and carbon paper rather than computers to check us in. In the waiting lounge there were a large number of sharply dressed businessmen carrying flowers and sporting unusual lapel pins. There were a handful of other foreigners, who all later turned out to be working for aid organisations, with the exception of one other tourist from Sweden. Interestingly, Sweden is one of the very few non-pariah countries to have any kind of diplomatic presence in NK.
After driving for what seemed like 25 miles down the runway we eventually came to our antiquated Ilyushin in a secluded corner of the airport. On boarding we were greeted with our first barrage of the uplifting patriotic songs that we were to hear everywhere.
Partaking of the Pyongyang Times handed out on the plane gave us our first glimpse of the current state of affairs. Naturally enough there were no stories of starving children, nuclear arms build-ups or the kidnapping of Japanese schoolgirls. In fact, it was exactly the opposite of the hysterical mud slinging and rumour mongering to be found in the Japanese press. From a technical point of view, the paper was a masterpiece – the English was beautiful (no Japlish here) but the content was slightly suspect:
- “The Juche idea formed by him [President Kim Il Sung] is the guiding ideology in the revolution and construction which reflects the independent demands and aspirations of the working masses. It now serves as an ideological banner of invincibility.”
- “He experienced all trials and ordeals in his lifetime and overcame manifold hardships in the revolutionary struggle with an indomitable determination.”
- “That was why it became a main leverage in the hands of the people with which to struggle against imperialism and reactionaries, exploitation by the imperialists and neo-colonialism and for social justice, democracy, vital rights and peace.”
One has to wonder who this paper is produced for, given the extremely small number of English-speaking visitors. Also, the subjects are not exactly what you get in the standard Berlitz phrasebook. Where do they learn these things?
On arrival at Pyongyang, our guide was nowhere to be seen. Our Swedish travelling companion’s guide informed us that our guide was expecting us to arrive by train and was waiting for us at the station. This would have been an ideal opportunity to escape the clutches of our tour but we probably wouldn’t have got very far.
All visitors to NK must go on a package tour and be accompanied by a guide, just in case you get lost or feel the urge to meet the locals. Our specially arranged tour consisted of two people – myself and my colleague Jeff from Canada. In addition to this we had two guides (Mr. Li and Mr. Kim), a driver (Mr. La) and our own Volvo. Our man from Sweden, who we were to dub Sven, also had two guides, a driver and a Volvo (which must have made him feel at home). Nothing like a bit of job creation. Mind you, with less than 5 western visitors per week, a shortage of guides is never going to be an issue.
Like all foreigners, we were put up in the deluxe grade Koryo hotel, a “twin tower style tall building” where we could marvel at the 45th floor “revolving restaurant with a wide prospect”. Our room was equipped with a TV with 10 channel buttons to press. I may have been doing something wrong, but they all seemed to be tuned to the same channel – revolutionary songs followed by a woman literally shouting the news and extolling the virtues of the Great Leader.
After dinner, the guides somehow got the idea that we were alcoholics who’d only come for the cheap beer and so we had little difficulty in persuading them to take us to a couple of local bars (the option of going shooting somehow became “unavailable”). Getting the guides drunk and separating them from each other and the Party line provided few revelations, other than an admission that the food situation is very bad and a strong denial that anyone had died. Too strong a denial.
The next day, after a brief tour of Pyongyang (including Kim Il Sung square, complete with posters of Marx and Lenin, and Kim Il Sung stadium, capacity 100000), we hit the road in our Volvo for the 38th parallel and the border with the puppet stooges in the south.
The Reunification Highway was almost deserted. With only 2% of the population owning their own cars, we had the thing almost to ourselves and so it was easy to put the foot down. The long straights were ideal for Mr. La’s driving style of maximum coasting and minimum gear changing. When asked about the speed limit, our trusty guide informed us that no cars meant no speed limit. What cars there were, drove on the right; however, depending on the car’s country of origin, there were both left and right-hand drive cars. Questions on the possibility of renting a car were met with quizzical looks, as if to say “What a quaint concept. Don’t think it’ll take off here though”.
Pyongyang is blessed with a metro and buses (for which people form such orderly queues). However, the main form of transport elsewhere seemed to be the shoe. At all times of the day, many people could be seen walking along the roadside and the Reunification Highway was no exception. Apparently, bikes were “not popular” before and these days pricing them at $300 is a very effective way of ensuring that NK doesn’t become terribly unsightly à la China. Our guides informed us that the typical North Korean spends 8 hours a day working, 8 hours sleeping and 8 hours studying. Not entirely sure where eating and all that walking fits in.
In the towns the sparse traffic is directed by uniformed people (usually women) with a baton. Their directing is customised to the traffic present – if a car approaches she will wave it through. In the rare event that two or more cars are present at the same time, some kind of decision has to be made. This involves signalling to one car, swivelling around and signalling to the others. This swivelling was a crisply mechanical process involving goose-stepping knees and jerky baton movements. Extremely entertaining to behold.
Before reaching Panmunjon and the demilitarised zone (DMZ), we stopped in Kaeson for lunch. Our tourist-only restaurant served up a traditional Korean meal consisting of 15 saucer-sized dishes each containing a different delicacy, washed down with Ginseng wine/unrefined meths.
Passing the “Seoul 70km” sign and entering the DMZ is one of the more surreal experiences that anyone can hope to encounter. We passed through fields full of dutiful workers toiling to the sound of martial music being blasted from massive speakers. Interestingly, these fields actually had some crops in them, unlike the ones we had passed on the journey from Pyongyang, which only seemed to offer mud for cultivation. We were stopped at a checkpoint and given a presentation on the DMZ. The room had a scale model of the border and, of course, pictures of the Great and Dear Leaders. There was also a map of the Korean peninsula, showing a virgin white north and a missile and tank infested south.
Then it was through some more barbed wire fences to the border itself. We were taken to the hut where the armistice agreement was signed, complete with the “original” flags in glass cases. However, the oxidising qualities of the two cases seemed to be somewhat different, since the UN flag was extremely tattered and the DPRK flag looked brand new.
As we stepped out of the building nearest the border, several south Korean soldiers on the other side rushed out to look at us through binoculars and take our photos. We then went into one of the huts straddling the border. Walking around the hut we could actually cross the border. The duty free shop didn’t seem to be open yet. Meanwhile the South Korean boneheads were staring through the windows at us, trying to look intimidating. Outside the hut we were treated to a show of imperialist aggression in the form of an American helicopter flying right up to the border and taking yet more pictures of us. It seems a pity that island nations are robbed of the opportunity to put on such shows for visitors.
The next day was May Day. We were hoping for a parade with tanks, missiles, red flags and thousands of children doing gymnastics. However, it wasn’t to be. No one knew of any events, with the exception of possible “dance parties”. We were, of course, extremely keen to go to such scenes of decadent songs and behaviours but the guides were somehow unable to track any down. In the event, we had a tour of Pyongyang and its many monuments.
First off, it was the Great Monument on Mansu hill. This is one of the most sacred places in NK and we were instructed to act in accordance with this fact. It consists of a massive bronze statue of the Great Leader in classic Lenin-hailing-a-taxi pose. We were firmly requested to buy some flowers to lay at the foot of the monument and bow reverently. Also, we were told that we were only allowed to take photos of the complete statue. Cutting off the great man’s legs or, heaven forbid, his head were definite no-nos. In fact, when I tried to take a photo from close range, they couldn’t believe that I could get the whole thing in my shot and asked to look through the viewfinder to make sure.
In lieu of massed parades, we went to the funfair. Being May Day, the joyous masses were out in force. From this sample, and from those people we saw later, it was impossible to tell if the country was on the verge of starvation. Certainly, there were large numbers of grubby looking kids, but then you get them in any country. Also, this would have been a good opportunity to actually meet some of the locals. However, after they’d got over their initial shock of seeing a foreigner, they would either gawp incredulously (Japanese and even Chinese starers have a lot to learn) or run away. Most of them seemed too scared to talk to us and I’m not sure I want to contemplate the consequences of starting a conversation with one of them would be. The only exception was the occasional small child who would say “hello” back to us.
After the wonders of the funfair, it was destination metro. Just like Moscow, each station is exquisitely decorated with marble columns, chandeliers and murals. Extra Korean touches include the mandatory revolutionary piped music and, of course, pictures of the Great and Dear Leaders in each carriage. At least that’s what it looked like, as the carriages were so dim that it was impossible to read a newspaper.
Next was the Great Leader’s birthplace in Mangyongdae. Again, the masses were out in force. What better way to spend your May Day than by visiting an old house with thousands of other soldiers. Being VIP foreigners, we were rushed to the front of the queue and given a special tour, while everyone else was herded through like cattle.
It was around this time that the guides started to give out some curious answers to our questions:
On Stalin
“Stalin was a genius. He led Russia to victory in the war and so was a great man. Some foreigners have told us that he did some bad things but we cannot really be sure of this.” It was interesting to see the different responses that resulted from different questioning techniques. For example, the above response came from the very open “what do you think of Stalin?”, whereas Sven’s “Stalin was really a nasty piece of work and how can you associate with such a brute?” produced a much more defensive response along the lines of “how can you really be sure that he killed a million people?”
On missiles
“Of course we don’t have any nuclear of chemical weapons. However, we do have some very powerful conventional weapons, capable of reaching the US. If you want war, come and get it – we’re ready.”
On Japan
“The Japanese government has recognised its mistakes and has apologised.”
On South Korea
“The South Korean government wants the US troops to stay because of the threat of attack but the US wants to leave.”
On Hwang Jang Yop
“Traitors are free to leave any time they want.”
“Many people defect from the south to the north.”
On German reunification
“That’s what we want but not in the same way i.e. the absorption of East Germany.”
In general, we were able to ask them anything. Their English was excellent, especially in the area of phrases like “imperialist aggression”, “anti-Japanese armed struggle” and “South Korean puppet stooges”. In fact, given the bombardment of questions, their answering was very impressive. I only have to think of all the strange questions that Japanese people ask me to be amazed. Mr. Li had a disquieting way of replying “of course, why not?” when asked questions such as “are you a member of the party?” or “do you tell Japanese people the same things?”
After lunch, the architectural showpieces, the Tower of the Juche Idea and the Arch of Triumph were ours to inspect. At the Juche tower we inquired about the system of Juche. It is usually translated as “self-reliance” in English, which leads to the impression that NK is an isolationist country, striving to survive without outside interference. However, the availability of foreign cars and products set us wondering. The guides informed us that it actually means “self-determination i.e. everyone is free to do what they want”. Within certain limits, of course…..
Our evening’s entertainment was a visit to the world-famous Pyongyang circus, complete with a real live orchestra, trapeze artistes and fighting cocks. There were also performing bears, which were either small people in bearsuits or extremely well trained/tortured animals – their actions were incredibly human-like.
After dinner, we managed to head out on our own for a stroll around Pyongyang by night. The eerily quiet (and dark) streets didn’t proffer any dancing parties but the aforementioned monuments were floodlit for our enjoyment. The lights in Kim Il Sung square were particularly impressive. We walked up to Mansu hill to pay our respects to the Great Leader again (although we didn’t have any flowers this time). The place was deserted with the exception of some cleaners and the sombre music. We thought it best to bow, just in case our guides should hear of any disrespectful behaviour on our part.
The next day found us driving north towards mount Myohyang and the International Friendship Exhibition (IFE). This is the building used to house the presents that the Great Leader (and to a lesser extent, the Dear Leader) have received from various people around the world. The place is organised by country – there were two rooms of presents from Japan, two cases from Britain and a paltry half a case from Canada. The presents from “western” countries were mainly from trading companies and individuals with the occasional communist party contribution and generally they were the likes of plates and other sundry ornaments. According to Sven the labels on the Swedish presents were full of spelling mistakes. Some things are important in life, after all…..
However, the presents from Japan and elsewhere were a bit of an eye-opener. Apparently it wasn’t OK for “civil servants” like Jeff and myself to visit NK but it was OK for prime ministers, cabinet ministers and politicians. Needless to say, we were completely blown away by the presence of gifts from the mayor of Nagano city and the governor of Nagano prefecture. But then who are we to question the whys and wherefores of Japanese bureaucracy?
The presents from “nasty” countries included bullet-proof limos from Stalin, a bullet-proof train carriage from Mao, a bear shot by Ceaucescu (presumably not bullet-proof), machine guns from countries such as Syria, Cuba and Iraq (but, surprisingly, none from Angola). Everyone’s favourite despot was represented, from Gaddafi to Honecker to Khomeni to Che to Castro. Some of the exhibits were slightly less than PC – ivory from Africa and rhino horns from Somalia being particular examples.
The exhibition also had a marble statue of the Great Leader sitting in a large armchair, in a similar style to Lincoln and Mao in their respective memorials. What is it about these people that makes them like this pose so much? I suppose you might need a rest after hailing a taxi all day. Of course, we were required to bow to the armchair. Also, in an extra special room, there was a life-size waxwork of the man himself, presented by the Chinese on the second anniversary of his death. Respect, sombre music and deep bowing were the order of the day.
Lunch in the Hyangsan hotel was followed by some souvenir shopping in the hotel shop. Aside from the usual postcards and collected works of the Great Leader, they did a fine line in badges and stamps. We were keen to buy the GL badges we had first seen at Beijing airport and subsequently on every jacket in the land. However, we were informed that these badges were very special and are only given to people with a genuine interest in the Juche system. Furthermore, this privilege could only be granted after applying in writing to the government, stating your case and getting it approved. Not feeling capable of fulfilling these requirements, we settled for some peace and NK flag badges.
The stamps were even more bizarre. There were the predictable socialist realism type, depicting red tractors, victorious soldiers and belching factories. Then there were the ones marking DPRK events such as the international seminar on the Juche idea, the month of anti-US joint struggle, the 50th anniversary of the founding of the Korean People’s Army, and the world conference of journalists against imperialism and for friendship and peace. Then again there were the ones commemorating international events that would appear to have very little to do with Korea. For example, its connection to the royal wedding, princess Di’s 21st birthday and the 150th anniversary of the founding of the Liverpool to Manchester railway escapes me for the present.
The level of connection to the real world seemed to be very selective. The above events had filtered through but other invasions of self-determination such as McDonald’s (or any other form of fast food, for that matter), Dickens or even the Beatles had yet to materialise. Yes, incredibly, when I asked about the Beatles and had to explain, all I got was blank looks, similar to those that greeted the car hire concept. Even the clichéd international reference point that is Bobby Charlton made no impression. Shakespeare had somehow made it but revolutionary thinkers such as Thomas Payne and David Hulme somehow hadn’t.
Upon arrival we had asked to be taken to a school, with the hope of seeing some foreign language instruction in action (we were keen to see how they learnt how to pronounce “imperialist aggressor” so well). Also, there might have been a chance of actually meeting some real people. However, in the end we were taken to the Children’s Palace in Pyongyang. We had read about this place in the Bakker report and knew what to expect i.e. not a real school. This is the place where children can go after normal school to “practice things they are interested in” (read: “where they are forced to go to perform for hoards of Chinese tourists”).
We were to witness small children playing accordions and mandolins with forced smiles on their faces and calligraphy classes where the students practised writing “the leader is always with us”. We also had a tour of the computer room, where they were programming in BASIC. Actually, the equipment wasn’t all that primitive – DOS and colour screens were prevalent. I had begun to wonder at the level of computer literacy when I was asked “how did you communicate with the travel agent in Holland?” I responded “by e-mail” to which the response was “oh, I see, by mail”. This image was further reinforced when I asked about the internet. The guide said that, of course (why not), they had the internet in NK but “it is not for individual use” – only government officials can get access.
After touring some classrooms (unfortunately, the students studying English weren’t being publicly tortured that day), we watched a play put on by the kids. There were boys dressed as soldiers toting guns and plenty of revolutionary metaphors and imagery. The off-duty students were also watching. They were forced to clap at apt moments by vigilant teachers. Interestingly, the two guides that were with us that day displayed very different levels of enthusiasm – one of them clapped vigorously at every opportunity while the other made token gestures every now and then.
Our last day was supposed to be a visit to the Pyongyang film studio, where they make all their best anti-Japanese films. However, it was closed because of the May Day holiday. Instead, we were taken to the revolutionary martyrs’ cemetery. This is the resting-place of 118 martyrs who died in the anti-Japanese armed struggle (with space for more as they die off). On the way back, I casually asked “what’s that building over there?”, only to be told that it was the Kum Su San Memorial Palace, where the Great Leader is lying in state. Apparently special permission is required to visit it but we were devastated to find out just as we were leaving. Looks like I’ll have to go back to complete my collection of pickled oppressors.
For the return to Beijing, we opted for the 25-hour train journey. For some reason we were upgraded from hard sleeper to soft sleeper. Our compartment was also occupied by some Chinese businessmen intent on smoking despite being in a no smoking compartment with no ashtray and being requested to stop several times. Their response to this was to invite their friends for a card session. A trip to the dining car took us through hard seat and all its attendant masses, discarded food and phlegm.
At one station there was another train going in the other direction. It was one of the most amazing sights I’ve ever seen and not one I’ll easily forget. Basically it was packed beyond all comprehension – there were no windows so there were people hanging out of the holes, there were people on the roof (this was an electric train!), between the carriages, in the doorways and even under the doors (on the steps). It was raining so the people on the roof and at the windows had covered themselves with plastic sheeting, although it wasn’t doing much good as everyone was really grimy. Spotting two weirdo foreigners in the adjacent train, some of them started to wave at us. In the midst of all this depravation and hardship there was one girl with an ivory white smile and shining eyes truly happy to see us. A very special moment.
After 3 1/2 hours at the border we were back in China. As with entering the DPRK, our luggage wasn’t even opened. The contrast between the mud fields south of the border and the green fields of China was very apparent. One aid worker that we met told us that the NK system of farming is more to blame than the floods for the food situation. Apparently, they want two crops a year and the system isn’t flexible enough to cope with unexpected flooding. All of the people working in the DPRK (aid workers and embassy staff) said that it was extremely difficult to get to see affected areas or even to talk to the locals about it.
A final day in Beijing was spent shopping and sightseeing. A quick stop in the Australian kebab restaurant in Tiananmen square yielded yet another priceless piece of English – upon receiving my food, I was instructed “please like”! On the return flight we were upgraded to business – Champagne and Chablis all round. The ginseng wine seemed to be out of stock. Of course, why not?
Recent comments